Crib

We bought Norby a crib today. While it doesn't have a 'Scarface' poster in it, fish tank with live sharks or a movie theatre with leather seats, it is pretty nice. I hope you enjoyed my description of the crib. Y'all don't need to go home, but you can't stay here (slamming door in your face.)

Treating a Baby Girl Differently Than a Baby Boy

I heard a story about a family in Europe somewhere that chose not to raise their child specifically as a boy or a girl. They kept the child's hair medium length, dressed 'it' in plain, neutral-colored clothing and gave no indication to the outside world as to the gender of their kid. Their reasoning was that they didn't want anyone to treat the child differently based on whether their child was male or female. An interesting idea, I suppose.

My sister, who has two boys and a girl, told me that there is a definite difference in the way her older boy and only girl behave and process things, despite the fact that they are just a couple of years apart in age, grew up in the same house and arguably in the same environment. In stereotypical fashion, she says the boy doesn't sweat the small stuff and is loud and sometimes rambunctious, while the girl is more sensitive and emotional. Her point is that no matter how you raise them, boys and girls will naturally (biologically?) trend towards certain character traits. But I wonder how much parents may subconsciously play a role in that...

Even though we're still only half way through the pregnancy, I wonder if we're already treating our unborn baby any differently (read: more carefully) now that we know she is a girl. We bought a bunch of soft, pink, girly things after we found out the gender. We also decided not to show a certain ultrasound photo of the baby (see 'Latest photos' post) which I think Helen would've been OK with if Norby had been a he. Finally, I wonder if some of the stuff I write on here that would be considered funny if our baby were a boy are less humorous or even off limits since we know we're having a girl. For instance, Helen asked me not to use the word 'vajayjay' on this blog (oops, I just did.)

I think there's a happy medium between that family I mentioned at the beginning of this post and treating our little Winglette like a Faberge egg. And since I'm all about equality and would certainly use words like 'junk' to describe Norbit's guy parts had he been a boy, I think it's only fair I not shy away from using similar female words - within reason, of course. It is our baby girl we're talking about, after all.

Do you think parents treat their babies differently based on gender? Should they? I want to hear what you think, so feel free to comment.

Norby - Bats left; Throws right?

If Norbit had been a boy, I might have announced his arrival into the world by making him his own baseball card similar to the one above, complete with vital statistics on the back of the card. But since she's a girl, I will probably pass on that idea, much to Helen's relief.

That reminds me that we are now in week 20 and I have information to pass along about Norby - she is one pound now and about the size of a cantaloupe. Helen says she thinks the baby has moved a bit, but isn't 100% sure. What we *do* know is that our little girl was a whirling dervish during the ultrasound yesterday, shifting positions and even blocking the camera with her feet once (she doesn't like paparazzi, apparently.)

Helen asked if Norby was going to be this active once she arrives, and the technician said that how they act in the womb is usually a good indication of how they'll act once they're out. So it looks like we'll have quite a handful from the get-go. I just hope she can hit a curveball...

Latest Pictures - Second Trimester

Here are a few shots of Norby, taken from Helen's second trimester ultrasound. The first pic is a profile of her head, and the second one is of her tiny little feet. Apologies for the awful quality - I used a point and shoot camera to take the pix and was too lazy (and stupid) to change the settings to take clearer shots. If you click on the pix and enlarge though, you should be able to see them well enough to make everything out.

There was another photo that I considered posting which shows how the technician knew Norby was a 'she' - complete with an arrow pointing to a certain part of her body. But Helen said it was inappropriate to show that photo of our baby girl...even if you can't really tell what it is. I agreed. Check me out - I'm already a protective father!

Norbit is a Girl!

Helen and I were excited to find out Norbit is going to be a girl! We went to the doctor's today, and did the longer, second trimester ultrasound, which included numerous 'photos' of our baby to make sure she was progressing correctly. It was kind of weird, but cool to see her spine, brain, fingers, toes and bones all very clearly. So far our baby girl (and Helen) are doing well.

It was honestly a bit of a shocker to learn Norbit is a she, since we'd been told by so many people (except Helen's parents) that we were going to be having a boy, based on a number of different criteria like food habits, etc. (see 'Boy oh boy?' post.) So Helen was ecstatic when the technician pointed out the baby had female parts. I asked if the tech was sure, because I think both Helen and I had mentally prepared for a little dude.

Immediately after learning the news, Helen and I went to Pottery Barn Kids where we proceeded to buy just about everything cute and frilly they had available in the store. By the time our baby girl is born I suspect there will be so much pink everywhere in our house, you will think a cotton candy machine exploded.

We are both so happy the baby is doing well, and while I was happy with either a boy or a girl, I know Helen is totally stoked that she will have a little girl to play with, dress up and teach things to. And I have to admit, I am sure I will melt the first time our little girl calls me 'daddy.'

I leave you with this video, which sums up how I'm feeling right about now...

Week 19

The number 19 is a great number. It was worn by one of my favorite baseball players, 1975 A.L. MVP and Rookie of the Year, Fred Lynn of the Red Sox (the only other player besides Ichiro to win both honors the same year.) Additionally and more importantly, some might argue, exciting things are expected to happen during this week (#19) of the pregnancy.

According to what I've been reading, Norbit may be able to start hearing the outside world, could start kicking any day now, and looks like a mango covered in cheese. The 'cheese' part is a protective coating to prevent our little peanut from the surrounding amniotic fluid. Without it, baby would look all shriveled up.

As for Helen, she is doing well. The fatigue is mostly gone, the leg cramps that some pregnant women experience have not materialized (yet) ands she has been in a great mood recently, saying funny things that make us both laugh.

Speaking of funny, when they say Norbit looks like a mango, I hope they're talking about the tropical fruit and not this old character from SNL:

Another Weekend, Another Great Movie

I'm going to miss seeing movies like this once Norby is born. That's why Helen and I are loading up on our date nights while we can...

Oh btw, this was THE BEST MOVIE OF THE YEAR. Loved it!

Baby Wipes - Not Just for Babies

Lots of changes happen to mommies-to-be as the pregnancy wears on: In addition to getting bigger, I've learned they can also become a bit...clumsier.

Today when I got home I saw that Helen's white shirt had a few food stains on it, and her skirt had chocolate smears. It was almost a full meal on her outfit. I asked what happened and she said that things got a little messy while she ate lunch. Apparently, when parts of you get rounder, it's harder to prevent food from falling on you. It may be because pregnant midsections force women to stay farther away from plates and tables, and there's more room for droppage.

While I laughed, Helen said that I had better get used to it, because having a baby meant lots of dirty shirts and pants for the parents. While I agree with that statement, I always thought the food-stained clothes happened after the baby came!

My Goallllll for Norbit

In honor of the 2010 World Cup that concluded yesterday and the Major League Baseball All-Star Game taking place tomorrow, I thought about the importance athletics have played in my life and how I hope they will have a positive impact on Norbit's too.

My parents were wonderful 'sports parents,' waking up as early as 5:30 am on the weekends, driving, attending and rooting for me at all my games as a youngster. They successfully walked that fine line of encouraging me, but never pushing me so hard that I stopped loving the sports I played. As a result, I tried baseball, soccer, hockey, basketball and other sports as early as age seven, and played many of them competitively for more than a dozen years.

In addition to the physical benefits (hand/eye coordination, learning how to run, kick, skate, catch, hit, throw, etc.) I also learned a lot of lessons about life through athletics: winning with class, losing with dignity, interacting with different kinds of people from different backgrounds, working together as a team, becoming a leader, respecting others and myself, self-discipline and compassion.

Another added bonus was that because I had been active in sports since I was young, by the time I entered high school I knew exponentially more kids than some of my classmates. Instantly having a bunch of friends and acquaintances who were my teammates in years past made what can often be a very scary transition (into high school) easy for me. Because of my early introduction to sports, I also became good enough at some of them to be elected captain of my high school teams. That not only made me more popular and confident during my teen years than I would have been otherwise (don't ask what's happened to me since,) but the extra curricular activities looked good on my transcript and helped me get into college.

What I'm trying to say is that I am 100% certain sports were the building blocks to whatever successes I've had in life. So it's pretty easy to see why I plan on making sure Norbit participates in as many sports as possible, as early as possible. Even if it means getting up at 5:30 am on the weekend.

No Money, Mo' Problems

Despite the cleverness of the title above (based on a late 90's hip hop song, for those who did not know) this post is about a serious matter.

Helen and I made our first baby purchases today at a garage sale and got a great deal on some stuff for Norbit. As happy as I was to get a bargain, it also got me thinking about the high cost of having a baby (especially if parents buy all new stuff), which in turn made me both thankful Helen and I have jobs and health insurance right now, and freaked out about how we're going to pay for everything over the next 18 years.

More than worrying about ourselves though, my thoughts went out to all the people who are unemployed in the worst economic recession of our lifetime. Even though the stats put the U.S. at about a 10% unemployment rate, I have to believe that the numbers are MUCH higher than that and if all the people who aren't working but wanted to were counted, we'd be looking at jobless rates closer to 20%, or 1 in every 5 people out of work.

Even stopgap measures like stimulus money or Census 2010 jobs are close to ending, which means more folks will be looking to make ends meet any way they can. I am sure no one expected the situation to be as bad as it has been or for it to last as long as it has. While I certainly understand what Puff Daddy and Biggie were saying back in the day about how mo' money equals mo' problems, having no money brings about just as many problems, if not more, as millions know all too well.

The Name Game

On the advice of my dad, who says he and my mom did this before my sister and I were born, Helen and I decided to play a fun little game. We each made a list of names we liked for the baby without showing each other, then shared and explained why we liked or disliked certain ones. We did this for both boy and girl names since we won't find out Norbit's gender for another few weeks. Having already discussed a few names informally beforehand, there were a few that appeared on both of our lists that we really like.

Many people have told us not to share our names with others 1) because everyone has an opinion and will critique our choices and 2) other pregnant families may love one of our choices so much they could steal it. So for now, we're not divulging any of our possible baby names. All I will say is that Roscoe, Benny Hill, Gertrude, Fanny, Chongo and Borat are all yours if you want 'em.

Parents, how did you pick your kids' names? Did you have them already chosen before the baby was born, or did you wait until you saw and 'met' your child to name him or her?

Karaoke Friday

Sometimes at Chez Delen we have people over to play Taboo!, eat or sing. There was even one time recently that Oben came over and we 'practiced' playing Taboo (he gave and I received, so to speak. Don't laugh - we got seven clues before time ran out!) Tonight we're not doing any of that. Instead, we're going to see 'Despicable Me' in 3-D. But if I were to choose a song to croon to this evening, the one above would be it. Have a great weekend!

*UPDATE: The movie was really good. Go see it!

Summer Reading List

When I was in elementary school, I used to be required to read five books over the summer, write down the titles and authors and have an adult (my mom or a librarian) sign off verifying I had actually read the books.

This is sort of how I felt recently when Helen took me to task for not reading 'What to Expect When You're Expecting,' except I don't have to read five books and she's not signing a verification sheet at the end of the summer, as far as I know. She said she wanted me to read the first five chapters, so I could catch up to where she was. Even though I had a lot of reading to do, the beauty of starting when I did was that I could whiz by the first parts that talked about conceiving and 'are you pregnant?' and go right to where we currently are in the pregnancy.

The reading has been educational for sure, but I think each chapter might be more helpful to me if it had a daddy section at the end (I'm told the book has that toward the back) since I don't think I needed to know, for instance, that a new mom is likely to get hemorrhoids.

Fathers, what was your best source of knowledge about babies and parenting? Was it a book, a website, friends?

You'll Tell Us If Our Baby's Ugly, Right?

Last night, we hung out with our friends who are expecting a baby boy one month before Norbit is due. After inhaling some Korean food (all you can eat BBQ for $14.99!) and enjoying some dessert, Mommy Ji said to us 'I hope our baby isn't ugly. You'll tell us if he is, right?' I laughed, because of the brutal honesty and true concern in her question, and the fact that this is a topic Helen and I have discussed in the past about our own baby.

We have friends and family members who all have REALLY cute kids, except for maybe one or two fugly ones, (j/k) so the pressure is on to produce beautiful offspring. As a result, we made a couples' pact with our dinner friends that we'd tell each other if our babies are ugly. Helen said it best when she explained to Ji, 'If we have a girl, and we tell you the arranged marriage between our children is off, then you'll know.'

I imagine many parents have a secret fear of having an ugly baby, but are probably too polite to talk about it, since all babies are miracles, pretty in their own way, etc. I guess our friends and we either have no shame, or are just that vain that we'll discuss it openly with one another. Don't worry J & J, your boy will be cute no matter what that machine at Gameworks, which morphs both of your faces together to provide a composite of your future child's looks, showed. In fact, I'm sure your son already has a spot reserved in the most exclusive club in the world:

Redecorating Time

Helen is starting to prepare the house for when Norbit comes. Maybe it's the nesting instinct people talk about pregnant women having. Whatever is happening, out go the final remnants of my pre-baby bachelor pad: the black leather couch and chair have been slated for replacement.

To be fair to our unborn child, this is really more like Stage Two of the redecorating process: the first stage took place after Helen and I got married and she decided she didn't like the round coffee table where I had eaten a majority of my meals the last few years. So we got rid of that, got a couple of ottomans to replace it, bought a dining room table and chairs (where she says adults eat) and voila, my former swinging singles shack became a home complete with plants, real photos on the walls and scented candles in the bathroom. All nice improvements, I must admit.

With all these changes, I find it amusing that we still have a PS2 gaming system and a TV from 2002 (at least it's HD-ready.) At some point we'll work on getting our electronics replaced, but for now I'm content to keep them and save our pennies for the countless diapers and other baby things we'll be buying in the coming months - and anything else Helen may want to buy to make the house more like a home.